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A conversation with Jack

When I got home from work today, Jack and I had a little conversation about how our day went. I recorded it for you here:

Jack: Aaaaa.

Daddy: Aaaaaaa.

Jack: Aaaaaaa?

Daddy: Aaaa.

Jack: Aaaaaaa!

Daddy: Aaaaa!

[Jack then proceeded to spit up in agreement]

Jack and I have had some interesting interactions lately. On Sunday night, I leaned over to kiss him good night while he slept in his crib, and he punched me in the face. Now that's love.

The first couple days back at work have been OK. Jenn instant messages me around noon with a Jack update, and I'll check out his blog to get my picture fix. It's not quite the same, of course, but it helps. :)

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Whats That In The Sky?

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Boy In The Mirror

The last day

Two weeks are not enough.

I've had friends who have taken less, and others who have taken more. Lucky are those who can take months off at a time. But if I were even to take a year off, I don't know that I'd feel like I'd had enough time with Jack.

While I know there are so many exciting things awaiting me when I return to work tomorrow, the most exciting things awaiting me will be the ones I return to in the evening. Man, if I feel this way now, I can only imagine what Jenn is going to feel in October when she returns to work.

Parenting is such a huge responsibility. It's hard not to admire loving and caring parents. But now, when I see those parents who can stay at home with children, my respect is mixed with jealousy.

It's not like Jack and I have big plans, were I to stay home. Truth is, we'd probably watch re-runs of some television poker tournament or vacation resort travel special. Or maybe we'd spend time walking with Mom and the boys downtown. Or maybe it'd just be at home, watching him sleep on my chest with my arms wrapped around him.

Then again, maybe there are no bigger plans I could have.

We had a spontaneous lunch with our friends, the Buschmnans, in Los Altos today. When they heard I was going back to work tomorrow, Claudia and Brian both shot me a knowing look. Claudia concerned. Brian smiling because he knows what I'm about to go through.

Maybe I'm making it into a much bigger deal than it really is, but leaving Jack and my family for work tomorrow is going to be one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time.

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Jack With His Buddy Kevin

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Tired

Saturday is supposed to be a relaxing day. Eventhough we didn't leave the house, it was exhausting. All because the little man didn't seem content to eat or sleep at good times.

It's a little too early for a schedule, but ours certainly is off kilter. I feel bad for Jenn -- she hasn't gotten much sleep the last few nights, and Jack seems to be getting more restless. I hope he settles into something more like a routine soon. Then again, maybe this is just the beginning of what the next few months will be: exhausting.

Jack saw a bunch of his relatives during a visit today. It's always nice for him to see his family.

We'll see how he does tonight. Wish us luck.

Auntie Leslie

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Goin For Ice Cream

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Walkin

Daddy in charge

(Not really like that bad Scott Baio sitcom, Charles in Charge, from the 80s.)

Jack and I have enjoyed some quality time on our own while Mom has been out at a couple appointments. My role has been chief pooper cleaner and bottle feeder during those times. After a good feeding/cleaning session, Jack and I like to look out the window. Well, it's really Jack looking out at the window at the leaves on the tree as they move. (As seen by yesterday's picture). I love these little moments.

Mommy is doing great, too. She seems to have a schedule of sorts in place, and Jack is instantly calmed by her touch and sound. She's a natural.

It's hard to believe how much Jack has grown in just a couple weeks. He seems like a big boy. We're signed up for Driver's Ed, starting on Monday.

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Watching The Tree Move In The Wind

Saltwater is very valuable.

Can someone please explain to me why an intravenous bag of saline costs $72? I thought Honolulu had the highest rents in the nation, but clearly I was wrong. It's the hourly rate of the delivery room in our hospital. Clearly, that's a good place to be a property manager.

Ok, so we got the hospital bill today, and let's just say I'm thankful for insurance.

Smiley

Clearly, Jack must have a lot of gas, because he keeps smiling away!

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Jack's First Dinner Out With Obaasan And Mommy

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Woe Is Me

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Sleepy

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Doc

Family picture

Family picture from our backyard.

Risk-taking

Does fatherhood immediately make you risk-averse?

I drive the speed limit now. I come to complete stops at stop signs. I'm stocked up on all the requisite insurance policies. I've put carpet down on hard-wood floors. I wash my hands about a million times a day (and then supplement with hospital-grade disinfectant). I have back-up soaps to the back-up soaps. Clorox is my middle name (thanks Grandma). I've told the dogs the secret password to the underground bunker, just in case they get there first. I no longer raise out of position with K-J unsuited (a little shout out to my poker buddies there).

I wonder how long this will last, too. I see crazy moms in my rear-view mirror, riding my butt in their huge Ford Expeditions with car seats in the back, in a rush to go wherever they need to go, swerving in and out of lanes. Maybe it wears off, or these parents have some sense of security that I don't have yet. Maybe I need a bigger car. I already talked with my son about "HEMI" since that's what Dodge is telling me in its commercials a responsible father should do. I wonder how much Hummers cost these days...

The real world is on the horizon now. I can see it coming. Emails, meetings, deadlines and phone calls are all rushing back toward me. It appears that there is some boundary to this ethereal world of newborn fatherhood. I'm wondering how long I can push it back.

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Mommy Is A Better Carrier

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Walkin

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Spike

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Boxer

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Jack And Mom

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Oh No!

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Jack's Car

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More Father's Day pictures

Father's Day

I started my first Father's Day with a poopy diaper.

It actually was a perfect start to this annual celebration of dads. I don't mind changing diapers at all since it's just another moment of time I get to spend with my son.

(My friend Henry said that one of his most cherished fatherhood moments was changing his baby's diapers -- I didn't get it then, but I absolutely do now).

Everyone tells you when you're pregnant that everything is going to change once you have a baby. "You won't know what hit you" and "Forget about sleeping." I really haven't felt the brunt of either of those yet, and frankly I welcome all of these changes.

The biggest change I've noticed is perspective. I have a new appreciation for what's really important and valuable. I haven't gone back to work yet, so it'll be interesting to see what that reintroduction feels like, but right now, I'd be perfectly content to pack up and move to a cattle ranch somewhere and spend the rest of my days and nights hanging with my family. I'm sure that'll rub off a little bit with time, but my focus right now is on Jack and my family. Going back will be difficult. I don't know how my colleagues do it.

Over lunch a few weeks ago, my mentor and I discussed what really motivated us. He really got personal satisfaction over his professional achievement. I think I get a lot of satisfaction from that, too, but there's a big part of me, growing every day, that seems to find a greater satisfaction from a successful and thriving family life. It's not that my mentor didn't value his family, and it's not that I didn't value the work life, but when I look back, will I be more proud and satisfied over what I've achieved at home or at work?

Supposedly, the answer is that you can be both. You can be a wonderful father, partially by being successful at work and as a role model. Given Silicon Valley's fast-paced, all-encompassing lifestyle, it's hard to appreciate that, but we'll see as time goes on.

It sounds cliche, and maybe it's just because I'm being self-reflective at the moment, but nothing matters more to me right now than being the best father I can be.

Poopy diapers and all.

Obaasan is Here!

Grandma Lynn arrived early today (she left home at 3am today -- sheesh!) and Jack is so happy to see her! Jack had a big night last night, and is a little grouchy this morning, but before he got grouchy, he really enjoyed spending some quality time with Obaasan! Lindsay and Auntie Leslie are coming over for dinner tonight, so today's a big day for Jack!

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As luck would have it, the technology behind the camera-phone pictures has broken. I'm hoping it'll be fixed soon, but until then, uploading new pictures is a little more cumbersome. Here are some pix.

Goal-oriented

Jack had two goals yesterday: 1) Go for a walk, and 2) Take a bath. I'm pleased to say that he accomplished both of his goals. He also received his first piece of mail from the mail lady. Combine that with pee-ing on Dad twice, and you've got an action-packed day!

We walked just around a couple blocks. It's quite an ordeal at this point, getting Jack strapped in, getting the cameras for documentation, getting the dogs roped up. We're probably a pretty intimidating pack, with a dog at each side of the stroller, acting as body-dogs or bodyguards to Jack.

The whole bath thing was a lot of fun, too. As soon as Jack was soaped up, he decided to take things into his own hands when Daddy wasn't paying attention to the fact Jack didn't like the soap suds. As soon as Dad leaned over to clean his back, Jack let loose, peeing all over Dad's shirt. That'll teach him. :)

All in all, things are going quite well. Obaasan (Grandma Lynn) is coming to visit for a few days tomorrow, and Jack is excited to see her too!

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Jack's First Mail

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Walkin

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Awake

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Pow. Right In The Kisser.

Read All About It

Jack's not even a week old, and he's already getting more press than his old man and ma. Leigh Weimers, columnist for the Mercury News on Silicon Valley life, wrote about Jack's arrival in today's newspaper. You can read the little item here.

I'm busy looking for an agent for the little man. He's available for commercials, book introductions, diaper sponsorships, and anyone who might need his skills as a talented interpretative actor. :)

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Contemplating Life

Pops and Jacks

Not much to report today. Jack is still chillin with his biliblanket, working on bring down those jaundice levels. Last night was a bit rougher on sleeping for Jack and Mom. He was a bit fussy, and clearly was just a hungry boy.

Turns out our boy is quite a pooper. I call it, a poop explosion. It even wakes up the dogs. It sets off car alarms. I check the seismological websites afterward. It's like a sonic boom. It's pretty spontaneous, and I think that I'll avoid crossing the lines of decency and not record the sound. Apologies to all those without kids who find such juvenile humor so juvenile. But it's really funny, so loosen up. :)

Speaking of the in-club. I'm finding that having a baby gives you membership into a group that no one can really understand or appreciate unless they're members, too. No matter how fond you are of babies, it's nothing like being a parent yourself, and going through all these amazing experiences.

I'm working on some of the video right now. May post it later this afternoon. Uploaded some more pictures into his photo albums, too.

Changing Expertise

I'm getting better at this changing thing. I think even Jack would agree. Please note complete removal of any wall hangings whatsoever within peeing range. The clean-suits and rubber walls are on backorder.

Masahiro

You may have noticed that Jack has a Japanese middle name, Masahiro. I'm half-Japanese and we felt it was important for Jack to always know his diverse family background. In some Asian cultures, it is a tradition for grandparents to provide a special name for their new grandchildren. We wanted to extend this to my mother, too.

Masahiro means "samurai" in Japanese, and that has several connections to our family and my Japanese heritage. My great-grandparents' last name was Hachisuka, and my great-grandfather was a descendent of one of the last lines of samurai.

For what it's worth, "Mark" is derived from "Mars" the god of war. So there's some warrior connection going on, too (although that really wasn't part of the main intent).

While Jack may have a Japanese middle name, it'll be important for us to equally celebrate the other parts of his rich heritage, including his Italian, English, Irish and Scandinavian parts as well. But more important than the names and family histories will be the relationships he builds and memories he creates with all of his loving family, relatives and friends.

My mother may want to chime in too, with a comment to this...

Civil Disobedience

In his first act of civil disobedience, Jack peed on the wall.

I'm not sure if he did it to symbolize his feelings over the wall of division growing in the West Bank, or if it was instead to honor Ronald Reagan's historic "Tear down this wall" remark to Gorbachev so many years ago.

More likely, it was because Jenn forgot to use the Peepee Teepees while we were changing him.

That little rebel...

Little cry

About This Site

Some folks have asked about how we created this site. Here are some of the details.

From the hospital delivery room and recovery room, I used my cell phone and a mobile-enabled PDA to write messages, send pictures and record audio directly to the website without using my computer. I'm sure my son will roll his eyes when he hears me tell the stories, but all the technology makes archiving these life moments a piece of cake. Basically, I take a picture with my phone, and by pressing two buttons, it's on the website.

Here's what I used to do it:

Pictures:

Sanyo Camera Phone (to send pictures from phone from anywhere)

Canon S50 (for high-quality pix, uploaded from home)

Sony DVC-15 (video camera)

Audio:

Audioblogger via cell phone

Text:

Treo 600 PDA (sending text messages remotely)

Sanyo Phone

Email from any PC, hooked up to Blogger

Website:

Hosted by Yahoo Hosting

Journal software by Blogger

Photo hosting and prints by Yahoo Photos

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Big Face

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Good Morning

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Eddie Watches Mom And Jack

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Stretch

Home

Jack finally made it home today. The whole family is together now -- Eddie and Truman, included. Speaking of which, Eddie isn't quite sure of what to make of Jack, while Truman thinks he's pretty cool, judging by all the licking.

It's nice being away from the hospital, although we're still kind of shooting from the hip. Jenn's Mom is here, and that helps quite a bit. It'll be interesting to see what happens tonight, when we don't have the midnight blood pressure checks. We'll still have those late night feedings, every three hours, but with three people, it'll be easier (read: Mark will sleep tonight, thanks to Jenn's Mom).

If you haven't checked them out, go to Jack's Photo Albums, and see all the pictures over the last few days that weren't posted to the site. You can even order prints of anything that looks rather charming, such as this picture above. :)

I loved seeing him make all those faces yesterday. If we could only freeze these moments...

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Heading Home Soon